so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
