Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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