between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
