Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
