Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
