Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
