I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
