Me too!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
did i just pee glitter
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
