i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
