This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize