I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
