I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
