Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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