I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
