Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize