You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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