I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
