wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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