Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she peed on how many people?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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