I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
