Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
