Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
