I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
