i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
