some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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