Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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