She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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