No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
