does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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