i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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