I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
