Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
