Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
