she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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