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No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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