i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
that's an acceptable place to lick
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
