10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
