Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
