Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
