I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
