yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
