They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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