I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
