after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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