Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
