last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
