if only i could text you this smell
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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