i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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