can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
