I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
