yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i've created a new STD.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Panties = found
Randomize
