I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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