I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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