just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
