We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
People in love make me want to vomit
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
