drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
