it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
