I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
