i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
